From: Eustquio Anddrea Patounas <socex@terra.com.br>
Date: Sat, 17 May 2003 07:36:58 -0300
Fwd Date: Sat, 17 May 2003 18:28:51 -0400
Subject: A David Jacobs Case 


Last weekend, at The Brazilian International Congress I spoke
with David Jacobs and he has interesting cases. This is one.

Regards

Memoirs of Shadows by Laura

 From my earliest memory I knew beyond a doubt that my life was
different than other children's lives. I feared the visitors
that would come to my bedroom unseen by my parents in the night.
At the time that I was a child in the late 1940s there were no
movies about ET, Close Encounters, or Independence Day. I knew,
however, that I was fearful of "space aliens" who came to visit
when I was alone and defenseless. Their preferred method of
entry to my room was through a window and my parents were
perplexed at my inordinate fear of sleeping near one. They would
also lure me outdoors where they would be waiting. I struggled
against these liaisons but in the end their will prevailed. I
would hide in a secret refuge in a walk-through closet that led
to my parent's room. I would see bright lights emanating from my
room that no one else was awake to see.

Childhood In childhood, and to some degree in the present, I had
an overwhelming fear of doctors and dentists with their bright
lights and sharp tools. Fear was my constant companion fear of
the darkness, of windows, of being alone in a church, the
outdoors, and of parked aircraft that I imagined would come to
life along with the occupants.

I learned early on not to admit my true fears to adults as they
would very quickly tell me that space aliens did not exist. If I
persisted I was punished. Of the many events occurred in my
childhood two events stand out one of which was explored through
the use of regression. The first one is a partial memory of
encountering a male and female alien couple when I was
approximately seven years of age. One night I was coming home
from visiting my grandmother who lived nearly adjacent to us. As
I reached the halfway point I saw two figures standing behind
the fence. My heart began to race as these were my night
visitors not outwardly different from one another but one male
and one female. They did not speak aloud but they called me to
come to them. In horror I shouted I would not and tried to run
the rest of the way home calling them monsters. The next thing
they uttered I have not forgotten to this day. They told me that
they were my "real parents" and that I should go with them. I
have little memory of what happened after that however I like to
think that I ran and made it home.


Adolescence/Teen Years
Adolescence was for me as everyone an awkward age. Not quite
grown up but flying towards it. The fear remained but I could no
longer run to adults for comfort and protection. I was
developing feelings about my sexuality but most of the time I
was still a child. To the grays I was of reproductive age and of
use to them. Teen years are always turbulent and mine were as
well, but the added hidden dimension was ever present. Odd
occurrences were the norm for me. I worked hard at school, but
nights were unpredictable. I tried in my own way to create a
sense of safety. In my teen years I found that alcohol often
quickly obliterated my fear. This would prove to be a
destructive pattern for my later years. It was during these
years of change that I began feel that I was leading a double
life being a young teen by day, and a reproductive age female
when I was abducted. As I got older I began to rely on alcohol
at night to ease the fear I always felt after dark. In my teen
years I was not abducted as frequently as in adulthood but still
enough to maintain that gnawing fear of being taken.

Adulthood
When I became an adult I had already had many years of training
and indoctrination in what it was like to be a victim of an act
that was both unreportable and unbelievable. I continued to have
abductions but I had the comfort of two things alcohol and the
"spiritual" event people. I became involved with some New Age
and traditional spiritual practices and they for the most part
were able to explain my experiences as visitations from angels,
spirit guides, demons, or ghosts. The problem was that these
explanations didn't always work as the grays couldn't always
pull off looking like any of these. My screen memories were
somewhat convincing in appearance, but the behavior of these
entities never quite fit. Why do spirit guides need to perform
gynecological procedures and why couldn't I remember all the
great stuff they were supposedly teaching me? Why do angels and
demons need spaceships? In my twenties I was driving down a
highway when "the devil" appeared in the back seat of my car and
tried to take it over. Also several times the spirit of my
deceased grandfather appeared to me always when I was alone.
These events have not been fully explored but I suspect they are
not paranormal events.

The fear remained and my alcohol consumption eventually had to
stop. The spiritual solution quit working, so I turned to the
UFO groups. I joined MUFON and it was there that I met Dr. David
Jacobs. At that point in my life I was fairly certain of my
abductions and needed answers and support. I was more aware of
the abductions and some of the memories were very detailed and I
turned to Dr. Jacobs for help investigating them. Regression
hypnosis is not to be undertaken lightly and it tends to open a
door that can never be closed again. I do not regret my decision
to proceed and it gave me a new peace that I cannot fully
explain. It also presented new problems but they are not shadowy
and fragmentary. I have had much support with the memories and
ongoing events. The events have been frequent but I feel somehow
more able to deal with them. I have a video camera trained on me
at night. It has provided relief as I perceive a decrease in
events and a feeling of security that has allowed me to sleep
with less fear. Nothing works 100%, but I am willing to take
something that works perhaps 80% of the time. I feel at times
that I am leading two lives, one that I share with everyone and
the other one that involves abductions. As I am new to these
awarenesses I am still learning how to integrate all of this
information. The grays are not spirit guides and I believe not
here to help anyone but themselves. As Dr. Jacobs once told me,
I have broken through their secrecy and now I feel I have hope.